The Lone and Level Sands...

White Sands National Monument is a blazing white dune field in the middle of New Mexico, close to a small town called Alamogordo. To get there without a car, you have to take the Greyhound through Las Cruces, just north of the border with Mexico. This involves going through a US Border Patrol checkpoint. Now, New Mexico seems to have passed a law (along with Arizona) saying that all non-US citizens have to have their documents with them, or they run the risk of being arrested and deported. Dexter had left his passport in the hotel safe back in Albuquerque, reasoning that he wouldn't need it for a day trip to a small desert, and that it would be foolish to take it, especially as we were riding Greyhound.

US Border Patrol disagreed with me, however, but thankfully I was only threatened with deportation the first time we went through the checkpoint (a Hispanic woman on our bus was not so lucky, however, and was taken off the bus for processing), but on the way back I was taken off the bus and almost detained. Thankfully they found me in the immigration records just in the nick of time, and I was allowed back on the bus. The way I was treated, as a white Anglo-Saxon male, was completely different how they handled the Mexicans on the bus with us. They talked in a friendly, polite manner with me; the poor Hispanic woman above was surrounded by three burly All-American men, arms crossed, stony expressions set on their militaristic faces. Needless to say she was not allowed back on the bus.

White Sands was worth it, however. We checked in to a campground in Alamogordo, and then took a taxi over to the park entrance. As we said before, we didn't have a car, so we hiked the two miles to the edge of the dune field. We then hiked another four miles into the dunes themselves, and were very glad we came.

Dex walking up the road to the dunes, from the Visitors Center.

The 'sand' is gypsum, meaning the grains are fine, floury and bright white. There are patches with no vegetation, where the shimmering dunes stretch towards the far distant alkali flats and the mountains on the horizon. At times it's like being on another planet. You can stare in one direction and not see anything that tells you you're on Earth (apart from the blue sky, of course).

Part of a now closed-off road covered with dunes.

It is also searingly hot. Water (and lots of it) is an absolute must. Electrolyte drinks are good as well, just in case you get very tired and dehydrated. Most people drive into the dune field, but hiking gives you a much better experience. Scrambling up and down the dunes is great fun, and things lose a bit of their brilliance when you are looking at them out of a car window. We stayed until sunset, when the dunes turned blue and the stars came out. 

Dex on one of the mini dunes.

Once again, like the Grand Canyon, pictures speak louder than words.

¡Bienvenido a Albuquerque, NM!

Albuquerque is a city-town in the middle of the desert, just like Tucson. Albuquerque is much bigger, however, and has an entirely different feel. From our experience, it definitely has more pizzazz and character to it. For instance, we popped into a charity shop to pick up baseball caps and books, and got talking to the old women who were working/volunteering there. We found that two of them had studied art in London, another had lived in Winchester (UK, Dexter's hometown), and a customer interjected that she too had studied in London... a very random coincidence, especially out in the Wild West! They spelled out what we had already suspected: Albuquerque is very much characterized by and proud of its artistic community.

San Felipe de Neri Church in Old Town

We didn't get to spend much time exploring the charming Southwestern city, unfortunately, since we used it as a 'base camp' for our trip to White Sands (see next post). We had also lost a day, since the bus we booked via Amtrak left without us, leaving us with no choice but to pull an all-nighter at the LV airport until a Greyhound bus took us the following day. We did get to explore the Old Town however, a small but very pretty historic district full of Native American gift shops, New Age Mexican restaurants and various quaint old buildings.

Maryann in Old Town

Why Dex was held up at Border Patrol via White Sands

In front of a gift shop

The nightlife along Central Ave (also known as Route 66!) was inaccessible to us, due to time constraints. This was a shame, because it actually looked quite lively. Central Avenue is lined with bars, clubs and cheap eateries; and looked like a weird fusion of Camden Town, London with the clean-cut, grid arrangement of a downtown historic district.

Only photo we could find online of Central Ave, downtown Albuquerque

Before we managed to walk around the Old Town, however, we attempted to explore a national park that we thought was reachable by foot.. emphasis on attempted.

There is a national park on the edge of Albuquerque, called the Petroglyph National Monument. It's home to some Native American rock art, some thousands of years old. Very cool stuff! We decided, being as it was a mere 5 miles from the centre of town, to pay it a visit.

Petroglyphs, photo not our own

We gradually found it nearly impossible to get to, however, since we didn't have a car (and it's impossible to rent a car in the U.S. until you're at least 25-years-old) and public transportation in that part of the States is abominable. Giving it a shot anyway with the bus system, we got off at a stop that looked nearby the park on the map, but ended up hiking 2-mi uphill through Albuquerque suburbia. When we finally got to the Petroglyph park half an hour before it closed- dehydrated and exhausted- the ranger gave us a map with driving instructions to where the petroglyphs actually were, the closest being a 3-mi drive. BAH! So essentially it was a massive fail-trip all around, with us once again stubbornly refusing to accept what has become a recurring theme in the American Southwest: you can't get around anywhere without a car. Ah well. There is so much to see in the southwest, we're already planning to hit it up once again in the form of a road trip when we're a bit older.

Not all our trips within the city ended badly. On our last night, after coming back from White Sands ravenous for some cheese enchiladas, we took the bus to the University of New Mexico campus for some good, cheap eats at the suggestion of a local and ended up at The Frontier Restaurant. Right in front of UNM, and evidently very popular with the students, the seat-yourself, New Age Mexican diner was pretty busy when we showed up at 10:30 PM. Very cheap, cheerful, and generous chicken & cheese enchiladas and burritos if you happen to be in the city!

Ongtupqa

Words do a rather poor job a describing the magnificence, magnitude and awe-inspiring nature of the Grand Canyon. Pictures do it slightly better, but not by very much. Even just going to one of the viewpoints and gawping at it doesn't really do it justice. It's 277 miles long, 18 miles wide and is over a mile deep in places. The distances involved are so great that most of it looks 2D, as if it were some giant landscape poster...

Anyway, we are obviously having a hard time putting it into words, so here are some photos (click on them for the full size). But seriously, go and see it in person if you can. It isn't one of the natural Wonders of the World for nothing.

Welcome to Fabulous LV!

Rising like a mirage out of the endless desert sands, the neon plastic world of Las Vegas is a Mecca for those who wish to escape reality. Everything here is geared towards the casino crowds: the city has no other commerce. Everywhere you turn is another glittering themed casino boasting slot machines, card tables, theaters, bars, clubs, strip clubs, concert halls, wedding chapels, extravagant displays and hotel rooms all in one huge complex. Feeling in a Roman mood? Check out Caesar's Palace. Feeling happy? Why not go to Circus Circus. Feeling French? Go to Paris. Want to ride a Gondola? The Venetian has what you're looking for. You get the idea.

Dex on the Las Vegas Blvd.

Everything here is fake. But that's exactly what makes it attractive, in a way. Vegas is essentially a line of fake things, one after the other, stretching for 3 and a half miles, from the covered Fremont Street in downtown to Mandalay Bay casino and the airport in the south. They call it the Strip.

Some casinos and entertainment on Fremont St.

Close-up of the Las Vegas Blvd. sign.

We stayed in a hotel/casino called The Riviera, about a third of the way down the Strip. It had no discernible theme, which is rather unique for Vegas casinos. It did have three regular in-house shows, however: a stage hypnotist (standard for Vegas), a washed-up 80s popstar (Connie something-or-other, again pretty standard for Vegas), and a strip show (a 'topless revue', as they called it: a must-have for every Vegas casino, it seems). As can be imagined, the entertainment doesn't appeal to people's IQs very much. But then again this is Vegas, and most people's brains are switched off anyway.

In our days in Vegas we essentially just took the (overpriced) Deuce shuttle bus up and down the Strip, exploring the casinos ($5 for a 2-hour bus ticket, $7 for 24hrs). It seems like the casinos got into an arms race with each other, each one vying to outdo the others with the most OTT displays and attractions. The Bellagio and Treasure Island both have displays which go off every half an hour or so, automatically, and are visible from the street. The former has a set of fountains (e.g. at the end of Oceans Eleven), and the latter has a pirate battle on the ship. The Mirage has a volcano that goes off frequently as well.

Maryann in front of the Bellagio

Inside the Bellagio.. as classy as Vegas.

Some casinos have free shows inside: Circus Circus has a free... guess what? A circus! Some have decadent permanent exhibits that require tickets, such as Mirage's dolphin habitat. The undisputed king of dubious decadence, however, is the MGM Grand's lion habitat. It's a free exhibit, slap bang in the centre of the casino: a pair of lions, and some cubs. They're kept cuz their logo is a lion, and lions are cool. That justifies it, right?

Let's oogle at the captive lions at the MGM, kids!

Outside of MGM. Just so you know it's MGM from 10 miles away.

Vegas isn't all ethically dubious attractions, however. It has some of the best nightlife in the world. Of course the gambling, drinking, drugs, prostitutes and fine dining were all off limits to us, so we can't really comment on them (not like we'd, erm, want to engage in any of that sort of stuff anyway...).  We did head out to an 18+ nightclub called Krave, however. And it was fantastic. The club's staff were very polite (including the bouncers, omg!), the music was good, the clientele were fun, and Maryann didn't get leered on by strange men. Guess why? Because it was a gay bar! Really, they do put standard clubbing institutions to shame. No 21+, no mess, no seediness, no rudeness. Fantastic. Everything is 24 hours in Vegas, so we stayed out til the wee hours, greatly enjoying ourselves. Well, at least until we got up for the Grand Canyon tour 2 hours after we got back to the hotel. Ouch.

What we learnt is that money can buy you pretty much anything in Vegas. The sky's the limit. Even the way in which the casinos are often themed on other places, such as Paris, Sahara, The Venetian, Luxor, Excalibur, New York New York, etc, gives you the illusion of interacting with other cultures.

The Venetian, not our own photo. When we were there, it looked like this:

Yes, drained. A recurring theme in our trip!

Want to experience Egypt? Well, here's Luxor. There's a fake King Tut sarcophagus here too.

Inside the Luxor. Did we mention the IMAX theatre?

Some shops along the LV Blvd.

Maryann in front of New York, New York casino.

One of the many wedding parties we saw in Vegas.

On our last day we were sitting in a faux French cafe in a faux Parisian cobbled street in Paris Casino, and saw an advert for an Eiffel tower-shaped cocktail glass saying 'take Paris home with you'. That pretty much says it all, really. Seven thousand miles away from France's west coast, in the comfort of your own country, laws, mores, customs and language, you too, my friend, can experience that authentic French je ne sais quoi.

Chillin' in San Fran

Having got used to the balmy temperatures in the South and SoCal regularly exceeding the hundreds, the nippy sea air in San Francisco came as a bit of a shock. But the quasi-British weather in this city is the only negative thing about it (that and the Tenderloin district... a place universally feared by every San Franciscan, it seems).

San Francisco is... jazzy. Quirky. Liberal. Diverse. Exciting. It has character. Its Chinese community is the biggest outside of Asia, with some streets  bearing hardly any signs in English. It has a (very classy) district solely dedicated to the LGBT community. Its entire northwestern coastline is pier after pier of restaurants, boutiques and arcades. Alcatraz sits threateningly in its bay, as the Golden Gate bridge spans its waters.

Unlike LA, San Fran is very walkable, despite the very steep hills. On our first day we walked hiked through downtown, Union Square, Chinatown, Nob Hill (lol) and everywhere in between, taking in the local feel, watching the cable cars chug up and down the sloping hills.

Union Square

Crazy street!

Well, taking in the scene was great, until the wind whipped a bit harder, our goosebumps didnt go away, and Maryann decided she'd had enough of being an icicle. So we stopped by a very cheap and cheerful vintage/charity shop, where Maryann purchased a bulky jumper that would have made her yiayia proud. The outfit transformed into a level of hipsterdom too high for our liking, but hey, when in San Fran..

This is the hipster. She knows we are looking.

We ate lunch at a (rather dubious) Chinese buffet, stopped by the City Lights bookshop, and continued on to the northern shore - where we attempted to photograph the mist-covered Golden Gate bridge - and walked around the pier arcades.

Ross Alley, Chinatown

Our delightful remnants of the all-you-can-eat meal

City Lights Bookstore, very cool shop

Inception-esque, no?

The Golden Gate Bridge, if you squint hard enough...

We also checked out the Ghirardelli cafe, just to get some cheeky free samples, and laughed at Lombard St, the "crookedest street in the world", fyi. That night, we hit a hookah bar in downtown called Cairo Cafe (due to a lack of any other nightlife prospects, at least that night). Their hookah mixes are excellent, as is their house tea. If you're in town, ask for their 'Obama' mix.

Lombard St

Ghirardelli Cafe, woo.

The next day we took a bus down Market Street, San Fran's main artery, and another one to Twin Peaks. These two high hills command a spectacular view over pretty much all of San Fran, and scrambling up and down their slopes makes for a good morning's fun. Pictures (panoramas!) bellow:

A gentleman goes on a morning hike

Us at one of the peaks.

Panorama shot, click to see original size.

Having descended the hills we wandered around Castro, the area dedicated to the gay community. This area abounds with coffee shops, bookshops, bars and artsy boutiques. Its accepting denizens and relaxed atmosphere make it a great place to spend an afternoon.

The main street in the Castro district.

We should probably make note of the fact that we stayed in a hostel while in San Francisco. The prohibitively high prices of hotels make staying anywhere else exceptionally difficult. Needless to say, it was great fun. They lay on activities, such as movie nights, and there's always something interesting going on somewhere. Just for reference, however, make sure you stay somewhere outside of the Tenderloin district. As mentioned above, it is very unsafe.

After a 5am wake up call, we grabbed a train, and then a bus, all the way to Las Vegas...

The City of Angels

Los Angeles has quite a reputation. It is renowned for being the capital of the American film and TV industry, housing some of the best beaches in California and being home to every nutty celebrity and celebrity wannabe. In this city the quest for fame is endless, and those who achieve it are essentially worshipped. Plastic surgery and a tan are practically compulsory.

What they don't tell you is that the place is very spread out. It's like a suburban conurbation, rather than an ordered city. Getting around without a car is pretty difficult to say the least. We found this out the hard way, when we casually decided to walk around the touristy section of Hollywood, down to Beverly Hills and to pop by the LA farmer's market on the way back. We reasoned this shouldn't be such a difficult task, since they were all clustered together on the same map, and the distances looked walkable.

How wrong we were! After surfacing a metro stop too early, we found the distance to the next stop barely walkable, and were forced to turn around and catch the next train. The fact that that particular part of Hollywood was nothing like we expected ("gee, where are all the tourists?") influenced our decision as well. Top tip: go to the western end where all the movie theatres are, take photos with the stars on the Walk of Fame, and then leave. That's basically what we ended up doing.

Dex photographing a star

Not to say there isn't some worthwhile stuff to see in Hollywood. Just be warned: it is one of the most touristy places on the planet. After the Kodak theatre, the Walk of Fame and the Chinese Theatre, it is just row upon row of homogenous tourist traps, stretching off into the sunset. Oh, and another word of warning: the famous 'Hollywood' sign is misleadingly far away from the actual place. Grr.

Hollywood

Chinese Theatre

Having ticked that box, we sauntered down Santa Monica boulevard, and were once again faced with an impossible distance. Having waited for the bus, we took it down to Beverly Hills, LA. Needless to say, it's a rather swanky, upmarket end of town. The rich and famous have essentially barricaded themselves up in this ultra-exclusive neighborhood, creating a stark contest with the (often somewhat run down) rest of LA. In fact, the two of us had interesting table neighbors in a cafe we decided to stop by for a coffee: the girl asked for the nutritional information for the unsweetened, organic iced tea she was getting, and complained when she saw a speck in her iced beverage. Even after the waiter explained that it was a speck of tea leaf, she still, like, totally send it back. A few friends of ours used to live in LA for a while, and one claimed that if you ask any waiter, bar tender, etc for a headshot, 9/10 won't even blink twice or look confused, and say in reply: "Oh, are you a casting director?" At the time we were a bit taken aback, but, especially in Beverly Hills, we could definitely tell what he was talking about.

Bev Hills, omg

LET'S GET 'EM

After this we headed over to the Farmer's Market, which is worth a visit if you're in that area. The name is somewhat misleading, however: it is selection of permanent stalls and cafes, and not a farmer in sight. It's nice to walk through, however, and ogle at the pastries and other unique foodstuffs that are well out of one's budget range (we saw a stall with chocolate flavored pasta!).

Come one, come all! Fat-free, sugar-free, and taste-free ice cream. 

One of the great things about LA is the beach. Beaches, to be exact. Like everything, they're far away from downtown, but the time it takes to get to them is well worth it. We chose Santa Monica beach, as it was one of the few reachable by bus, but there are many others. The beach itself is very broad: over a hundred meters of fine yellow sand before you hit the shore, even at high tide. The Pacific ocean is pleasantly cool, not cold, and the waves are huge! If you love messing around among the waves, this place is heaven. Its latitude means that the sun rides high, making the beaches great for sunbathers. The size of the beaches means that even at really busy times only the shore is packed, leaving acres of uninhabited sand to run around and play in.

Santa Monica pier

End of Route 66

Cali beach

Santa Monica itself is a very pretty, upmarket beach town.. you can see how a lot of celebs have bought homes there. After soaking some rays, we walked over to the Promenade(the main shopping district not too far from the shore) and enjoyed some Pinkberry, yum!

Santa Monica shopping centre